


Somewhere

by Dayadhvam



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-09
Updated: 2007-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2252028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayadhvam/pseuds/Dayadhvam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a place for what was, and a place for what could have been. Sasuke tells himself that none of it matters, because the ending will always be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> Written Dec. 2007; edited Sept. 2014. This was a quick experiment in prose style: long sentences, repetition, and semi-colons galore.

Somewhere, a hitai-ate fits over his forehead snugly and reflects the sunlight, and he wipes at his face, streaked with dirt and sweat after sparring with his teammates, and he is thirteen and he is smiling and when he comes home, another boy raises his head, dark hair falling around his face, and lifts his hand in a gesture of welcome.

Somewhere, a bag hangs across his shoulders, and he is eight and he is running and when he comes home, the streets are splattered with bodies and blood.

*

Somewhere, he’s the second son, his shadow forever encompassed by the shadow of another. Somewhere, he shifts and glances away from a raging fireball, searing in its heat, and watches the way the flames create faint gray shades along the sides of his father’s face, and somewhere his father turns back, and somewhere his father smiles.

And somewhere (somewhere—someplace—sometime, a year ago, a hundred, an incalculable stretch of stillness and silence, and there is no such thing as _how long_ ), he looks out into the courtyard, clutching the frame of an open door, and watches strange figures cut harshly by their movement and words and silhouettes _there_ against the cracking wall, and watches the way his brother’s face narrows and goes blank, cold intensity freezing its way across his dark eyes and thinned mouth; and he sees a thrown kunai striking the center of a red and white fan with a too loud _thud_ , and hears the bitter fury barely restrained in the voice of a boy—thirteen and ANBU captain and Uchiha and _his brother_ , who does not seem like his brother and yet is his brother, festering with silent emotion and tension under overwhelming pressure, festering until something bursts free.

Somewhere, he has no brother to hate; and somewhere, he has no brother to love.

*

Somewhere, the sun is very bright and the sky is very blue, and there is a boy with bright hair and blue eyes who yells at him and fights him, and who laughs without a worry when they are both lying on the ground, letting the wind sweep over their sweating bodies. Somewhere, there is a girl who draws a kunai against her pink hair to fight for her friends and who draws him into a warm embrace with a sad smile; and somewhere there is a man who crinkles his eye cheerfully and puts his hand on his shoulder.

Somewhere, a black rage boils up inside him and purple arcs around him and he steps in front of the girl and asks her a question; and somewhere she answers, and he turns to the enemy and knows that they will hurt before they die. Somewhere, he is too late to stop a barrage of senbon and his chest constricts strangely as the needles strike; and somewhere he is staring at the surrounding mirrors and hearing someone scream at him and feeling quiet resignation sink through his muscles to the bone; and somewhere he smiles to himself and falls.

And somewhere (somewhere—someplace—sometime, a year ago, a hundred, an alien moment separated from him by a gaping chasm, and there is no such thing as _now yes now_ ), he sits next to the boy who almost breathes in his food before getting smacked by the girl who tells him to eat in a more civilized fashion; and he watches a look of fondness works across the girl’s face even as she continues her scolding, and the way the boy grins widely at them both, nothing but irrepressible humor in his eyes and mouth and voice; and he joins them in their futile attempts to see under the man’s mask while the man smirks with amusement. Somewhere they stand up, and they link hands with him and drag him off, and he blinks but does not protest and goes with them.

Somewhere, he turns and walks away.

*

And somewhere, it is raining or it is not, and it is morning or midday or dusk, and he stares into a twisting whirl of red and black; and somewhere he holds a chakra blade in his hand, and somewhere he holds a chirping ball of lightning, and somewhere he holds nothing at all.

Somewhere, he does not care. There is an unfathomable look in his brother’s eyes; and he grits his teeth until he hears them grind.

Somewhere, he is sprawled on the ground with blood running down his face, his brother standing over him with a cool look; and he wants to vomit out his hatred, but he doesn’t know if it’s for his brother or for himself. Somewhere it is the other way around, and when he leans down for the final kill, his brother gives him that unfathomable look and speaks. Somewhere it is a final taunt, and somewhere it is an explanation, and somewhere it is only the naming of a name, and somewhere there are no words but only a simple gesture, a final poke; but he steels himself and makes the last move and there is no somewhere he stops.

Somewhere in his mind he remembers impossibly loud laughter, a warm embrace, a crinkled eye; his forehead stings, and his heart is hollowed out inside him.

*

And somewhere, Sasuke wakes up. 


End file.
